Technically it’s mine since I bought it, but I bought it for my cousin’s kid. He’s 20, which is not the legal drinking age here. It’s 21. I hold the belief though that if you’re able to go and die in a war that you don’t believe in then you should be able to get plastered (even while going to die in the war you don’t believe in.) So I bought the kid a bottle of Wild Turkey.
We had every intention of partaking tonight, but I wasn’t feeling it today for the most part. I woke up in a shit mood, just one of my moods that I have. I had a doctor’s appointment with my neurologist and we discussed my migraines and seizures. I had had a migraine the night before and informed her of this so I’m switching meds again. The medication she is putting me on comes with some serious side effects so I’m a bit concerned about that, but we’ll see how it turns out.
I got home and popped a couple of my anti-anxiety meds and smoked some weed just to see if it’d put me in a better mood. It did after a while, but it also made me tired. I fell asleep around 5 and woke up around 9. Now I’m awake and bored. My cousin nor his kid seem to be anywhere around so I just said, “Fuck it. I bought the booze so I’m drinking it.” Sorry, kid. You missed out. I’ll get him some more eventually, but tonight is my night to drink and forget whatever is ailing me.
I don’t even know why I’m blogging right now seeing as I have nothing to say. I jotted down a lot of my thoughts in my journal earlier and pretty much said everything that was going on in my head. I wonder about when I die and when someone is reading my journal what they’ll think. It’s not just a bunch of “woe is me” shit in there. I’ve written down parts of stories I want to complete. I’ve jotted down ideas for comics I want to start. Tonight I just wrote down a conversation I was having with myself in my head and wanted to put it on the record so to speak.
Right now I’m drinking this Wild Turkey and blogging, trying to make myself tired enough to go back to sleep because that’s the only relief I seem to get from the world around me, a world that I don’t think I belong to anymore; a world that I don’t think really wants me in it anymore. If there’s one thing I took away from the acid trip a couple of weeks ago it’s that this isn’t all there is to it. All the bullshit we have to go through on a daily basis, all the stress, all the worry, none of it is going to matter in the end. We’re all going to die and none of that shit goes with us (at least as far as I know. I’ve never been dead before.)
I had a friend that died the other day. He died for a minute or two and was revived. I asked him what happened. Is there a heaven? Did he see a bright light? No. He said he saw Randy Travis. So apparently Randy Travis is the afterlife and we’ll be sitting around and listening to “Digging Up Bones” for eternity. At least I enjoy that song.
Should I Kill Myself or Have a Cup of Coffee? 
I watched that “Irish people try” Jack Daniels – actually I watched the whole series, I love the Irish accent and the Irish they are so animated. I don’t like bourbon as much as single malt whiskey, I’m not a huge fan of the flavoured spirits I like vodka because it’s cleaner if that makes sense but I do like whiskey, usually if it’s with something.
To most of the world America seems to be the leader – the 21 to drink alcohol thing is at odds with that, here it’s 18 but most of us by the time we are 14 have at least been drunk at a party – or the kids I grew up with. The world is mental though I think I’m done trying to make sense of it – there is none. I think if you can breed you should get the whole deal then at that age you are old enough to be self sufficient if needs be so why not.
Sure kids would become alcoholic, but you know how denying something makes it more appealing that’s my logic.
A weird thing happened yesterday I was at a bbq that one of our department heads held, at one point he quietly gets four other lecturers and me to go with him to the garage and hands around this vape thing full of pot. Here I was thinking I look so straight at uni apparently not. I usually don’t feel self-conscious in public but I do around these people I felt better about humans after that, lately I’ve not had a good run.
I had to google Randy Travis, randy means a whole other thing here but maybe I should go to church I have a lot of excuses to make.
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I’ll admit that I don’t remember writing this blog. I message a few people and called a few people last night. I don’t remember doing any of that. Last night was the first night I’d gotten blackout drunk in many, many years. I think it’ll just be weed for me tonight. I woke up still drunk this morning and felt drunk until this evening. So yeah, tonight is going to be a night to just sit back, chill, and smoke a joint. I may pop a Xanax or two if I’m feeling frisky.
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That’s a fair effort, weed and Xanax sounds yummy – I’ve never had Xanax and now they are making it very difficult to get, it’s been put on a government list of addictive and restricted substances.
I’ve been doing better with alcohol than I used to, 3 beers and I’d be down now I’m almost up to five. My mates are pretty good though they put me to bed, drink what’s left and clean up.
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I set my blog to private, to get rid of the latest nut, if you can’t get in there’s a let me in button I think?
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