Lottery of the Afterlife

The moment Arthur died, he found himself in an infinite white void.

“Oh,” he said. “This is unexpected.”

A voice boomed from nowhere and everywhere. “WELCOME TO THE AFTERLIFE.”

Arthur squinted. “So there is an afterlife?”

“YES.”

“Well, that’s a relief.”

“IS IT?” The voice sounded almost amused. “YOU ARE NOW SUBJECT TO THE GREAT COSMIC LOTTERY.”

Arthur frowned. “The what now?”

“THE SYSTEM OF ARBITRARY REASSIGNMENT. YOUR ESSENCE WILL BE RANDOMLY ALLOCATED TO AN EXISTENCE. COULD BE HUMAN AGAIN. COULD BE A FUNGUS. COULD BE A CONSCIOUS BLACK HOLE. NO MEANING TO IT. JUST SPINS AND ASSIGNS.”

Arthur blinked. “What happens if I refuse?”

“REFUSE?” The voice actually chuckled. “THAT’S ADORABLE.”

A massive celestial wheel materialized before Arthur, labeled with everything from “Emperor of a Galactical Civilization” to “Single-Celled Amoeba.” A rotting rat carcass was also on the list. The wheel spun.

Arthur sighed. “So there’s no grand purpose? No final revelation? No reunion with loved ones?”

“NOPE. JUST THE SPIN.”

“And if I get something terrible?”

“YOU’LL EXPERIENCE IT. AND THEN YOU’LL DIE AGAIN. AND YOU’LL SPIN AGAIN. FOREVER.”

Arthur sighed, then laughed. “Alright. Might as well enjoy the ride.”

“THAT’S THE SPIRIT!”

3 thoughts on “Lottery of the Afterlife

  1. That’s a great idea, I loved this. Most living things are food for something else, I don’t think there would be much on the wheel that would appeal to me, but I’d rather be something mortal living longer than a human life would be torture.

    Your short stories are fantastic.

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    1. Thank you for saying that! I also love reading what you write. You’ve got an interesting and funny take on things going on in the world that’s really refreshing. Thank you for just taking time out of your day to read my drivel.

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      1. Your stories are the highlight of the day, every one is unique. You mix reality, horror, absurdity, comedy and morality beautifully, talent is a rare thing it’s a shame reading is less important to people than hitting like on some meme.

        By the way for some reason I can only use the like button on my own blog. WordPress has been buggy for most of this year for me.

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