I’ve already posted once today, but I felt like I had to post this in lieu of the recent shooting in Florida. Your thoughts and prayers aren’t enough.
Let’s get this out of the way: I own guns. Plural. I’ve owned them for years. I even own an AR-15. Some were gifts, some I keep around for “just in case,” and no, I don’t sleep with one under my pillow whispering sweet nothings about the Second Amendment. But I am a gun owner.
And I want gun control.
Cut the screeching “Traitor!” “Liberal!” “You just want the government to take everything!” bullshit. Calm down, Yosemite Sam. Nobody’s kicking in your door to confiscate your tactical Hello Kitty rifle. But let me explain this in a way that even your average ammo hoarder can understand: owning guns and supporting regulation isn’t hypocrisy. It’s sanity.
I don’t want everyone’s gun banned. I want people who think a Red Bull and a grudge is a personality to have a slightly harder time buying an AR-15. That’s it.
See, the problem isn’t gun ownership–it’s the wild ass fantasy roleplay that’s metastasized around it. Some of you treat the gun range like a cosplay convention for failed protagonists. You’ve got more gear than the National Guard and a brain that could maybe pass a middle school civics test if it was a group project. And these are the people we’re supposed to trust with zero oversight?
I’m not buying it.
We regulate everything else. Cars, food, prescription meds. Hell, I need a license to fish. But guns? Nah, let’s just let any twitchy rage troll waltz into some store and suit up like it’s Call of Duty. Seems smart.
Gun nuts love to say, “If you don’t know anything about guns, you can’t talk about gun laws.” Cool. I do know. I’ve shot them, cleaned them, owned them, and locked them up when I wasn’t using them. And that experience is exactly why I know how dangerous our current free-for-all is.
The truth? Guns are fine. Gun culture is diseased.
It’s built on fear, fantasy, and fetish. It’s no longer about self-defense or even sport–it’s about ego, paranoia, and performative patriotism. Half the guys screaming about tyranny wouldn’t last five minutes without DoorDash and a cell signal, but sure, let’s arm them like they’re about to liberate Nakatomi Plaza.
You want to call me a “bad gun owner” because I want regulation? Fine. I’ll take it. You know what’s worse than a bad gun owner? A delusional one.
So yeah, I support background checks. I support waiting periods. I support red flag laws. I support licensing and training. And I still own guns.
If it breaks your brain then good. Maybe it was already cracked.
I’m a gun owner and I want gun control.
Share this. Re-post it. Piss off your relative with a Punisher decal on his lifted truck because the only way we fix this mess is if the “responsible gun owners” actually act like it.
Sisyphus Shrugged 
I actually like guns, when I was living in the country I had a go at a few, ours are a lot tamer, but as much fun. Like most things – you shouldn’t give them to children and crazy people for reasons that should be obvious. Probably not me either, I’d be back in jail again.
Great write, I laughed, I sighed – I agree, great blend of reason and laughter.
I think it was Hotmess/K that once wrote to me – you can’t have slaughter without laughter.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know if you’ve ever listened to your fellow Aussie, Jim Jefferies, but he had an entire bit about guns in America. He said, “Americans only have one argument for guns and that argument is: ‘Fuck off. I like guns.'” I have to say it’s true. I don’t need an AR-15, but I like owning one. I didn’t buy it for protection or hunting. I bought it because I wanted one. I have a nice pistol for protection, and I haven’t hunted anything since I was a teenager. Mainly, I keep guns around in the event of zombies. Well, that and in case government officials come around after reading my anti-U.S. rants on this blog and on my social media sites.
LikeLike
I love Jim Jeffries, he’s the epitome of a pissed (as in drunk) Aussie, the filter gets switched off, he reminds me of someone I know, quite composed until he gets a few beers in him then he’s hysterically funny. I really like how Jeffries says what we are all thinking.
If the zombies arrive, I’m still coming over – topless of course, I’ll reload for you, I can do that much!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am, like you, a gun owner. All inherited but I wouldn’t give them up ever. Sentimentality and the love of target shooting, likely for sentimental reasons as well. Do I shoot things with them? Occasionally. Do I shoot people? Never. They are deadly, dangerous weapons and should definitely be regulated and monitored.
In my opinion, you are correct here dear sir. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, kind friend. I don’t know how “I want better gun regulations” gets interpreted as “I want to take away everyone’s guns!” all the time.
LikeLiked by 1 person