I don’t know why we do it. Death is inevitable. As soon as you’re born, the clock starts ticking. As soon as life is brought into this world it’s only a matter of time before that life ceases to exist. It could be several years down the road or it could be mere seconds after that life is born. Why subject others to such a fate?

The whole abortion debate is ridiculous to me. For people who claim it’s murder, I say that giving birth is murder. At some point we’re going to get killed by someone else’s hand, by nature, or simply by being too fucking old and our own body is going to shut down and kill us anyway. So to put it simply: a birth in itself is going to lead to a murder — murder by life.

Abortion is no more a crime than going through with a pregnancy. Giving birth is forcing something on someone against that someone’s will. I use the term “someone” loosely because I do not believe a fetus is a human being. If you don’t have a birth certificate then you’re not a human being as far as I’m concerned. That’s why we don’t give birth certificates to fetuses: they’re not born yet. They’re not human, no more than a single sperm is a human.

Giving a person life is cruel and inhumane, but we continue to subject others to it every single day. Women and men fight for the right of something that has no say in the matter. The fetus could very well be born with health defects that could take hours to name on this particular blog, but they think the humane thing to do is to bring it into the world with those defects and flip a coin and hope for the best. If you knew you were going to have a child who would be dead by the age of six months, would you avoid giving birth to it from the start? What about the child not living to see its third birthday? Its fourth? Its fifth? Abortion and those who believe in it are not cruel. It’s those who insist on giving birth and raising a sick child, raising a child in a sick world, those are the people who are cruel; those are the people who are murderers.

Be a better person. Make a better decision for the life you plan to have one day and change your mind. If you really want a child. I mean if you absolutely, 100% want a child to love and care for then go through the proper channels and adopt one. There are 443,000 children in the foster care system in the United States alone. Let’s work on finding them families and homes before we consider bringing more children into this world that never asked to be brought into it.

I’d always had a fascination with death ever since I was a kid. I remember reading a book titled The Children’s Book on Death and Dying. I can’t remember the name of the author. I can’t remember how many times I read the book, either. I remember checking it out of the library at school and reading it over and over again. Friends of mine would read it and I’d ask to read it again when they were done and I’d return it for them when it was due. The parts of the book involving losing a parent, a friend, a relative of some kind, those didn’t bother me. It was the chapter on losing a pet that always made the tears flow. I’d read that chapter if I felt I needed a good cry. I’d skip it if I was in school because I didn’t want to cry in front of my classmates and be seen as weak. No one wants others to think they’re weak. I felt I might die if that’d ever happen.

That book still sticks out in my mind every so often. I wonder if I should go back and read it now that I have experienced death. I’ve experienced the death of a grandfather from Alzheimer’s disease; I’ve experienced the death of an uncle due to pancreatic cancer; I’ve experienced the death of a classmate from colon cancer who was a mere two years older than I am. I’ve even experienced losing someone to gun violence. A clerk at a convenience store I’d made friends with because of my late night trips in there to buy smokes and beers when I was underage was gunned down over some lottery tickets and a few bucks. We weren’t close. We only spoke when I was talking to him while in the store, but that one in particular hit me pretty hard. I think it’s because of the number of times I was in that store at the same time the murder occurred. I could have been buying smokes, beer, any number of things when the boy who walked in decided to rob the place.

The manager heard the gunshots and shut the door to the office to get out of harm’s way. I can’t say that I blame him. I would have done the same thing if I was in his shoes. That would have left me and my friend both out in the open and I could have received the same fate he did. It didn’t take me long to return to the store, which was surprising. I don’t know why it didn’t bother me like it did some of the others who were frequent patrons of that gas station. I guess my morbid curiosity overshadowed my fear and paranoia. Although I’d lost a friend I still wondered what exactly happened that night. Where did my friend fall? What were his last words? What was going through his mind? These are the thoughts that run through my head when I think about death.

I think about what people would have wanted; how they would have wanted to have been remembered. I think about my grandfather’s funeral and how it was nothing like he spelled out in his last will and testament which I found after the fact. My mom and her sisters almost argued about everything concerning the funeral. My mom wanted to respect her father’s wishes. Her sisters seemed to want to make a show out of something that was supposed to be personal and meaningful to the family. My grandfather didn’t want flowers, but my aunts insisted on flowers. My grandfather wanted to be cremated, but my sisters insisted on a burial. I bring up my own funeral preparations so often because I don’t want that happening with me.

I don’t want to be buried. I want a cremation. I want some of my ashes to go into a vial for my friend Lauren to wear as she has requested. The rest of them can be scattered around the family property in Chattahoochee Hills. I don’t want a funeral. Funerals are too somber and crying is not very becoming of people. No, I don’t want a funeral. I want a wake. I want people to remember me for the weirdo that I was. Tell stories, exaggerate stories, embellish about me if you’d like. I just want you to have fun and remember me and think of me there having fun with you. I jokingly said that I want something on my urn. I know exactly what I want as well. It’s a Richard Pryor quote. People who know me might be surprised that I don’t want Bill Hicks, but I think for this occasion Richard Pryor would be funnier. “Waiting on 11:30” would be perfect. If you don’t know the reference then just try YouTube “Richard Pryor 11:30.” I’ll forever be waiting on 11:30 and that next party that’s about to go down. Remember me at every party you throw because I’ll be there to have some drinks with you, to smoke a bowl or a joint with you; to tell jokes, to rehash old stories over and over again and laugh like they all happened just yesterday.

I’ve thought about death a lot recently. I’m 32 and I’m not getting any younger. I’ve accomplished nothing it seems because I’ve always been too timid to try new things. I’m afraid I’ll fail. On the other hand however I want to be remembered somehow. I admire many people who have passed: Bill Hicks, George Carlin, Kirkegaard, Twain, many authors I’ve read and entertainers I’ve enjoyed whether it be music, movies, or television. They’re all going to be remembered and their legacies will live on forever. I want a legacy of my own, but how do I go about that? If someone has an answer then I’d like to hear it.

I fear leaving my loved ones behind. My mom has had to deal with my dad’s suicide 15 years ago. Just two years ago she experienced another loss when her boyfriend of eight years passed due to health issues. I have physical and mental health issues that I’m sure are going to lead me to an early grave, which terrifies me when I think about one of the two causing me to leave my mom behind. I fear losing my mom, being lost in a world with the one constant in my life. My sister and I get along, but we’re not as close as I’d like to be. I don’t know if we ever will be. We’re two completely opposite people.

My friends are the other constants in my life. I’m talking about those I know online and off. They’ve been there for me through hardships and good times. The stories we could tell strangers who gave us the courtesy of listening. I think about missing out on more stories when I’m gone. As much as you matter to people, once you’re gone there’s a bit of mourning, but the world continues to turn. Everything is over for you, but they return to their daily lives and if you’re lucky they remember you and smile because at some point in time you gave them joy.

So when I heard the news of a rogue planet on a collision course with earth I breathed a sigh of relief. There was going to be no pain. Suffering was not going to exist. In a matter of days all life on earth is going to cease to exist. This isn’t a movie where we can send astronauts to space to try to drill a hole and plant a bomb deep within this planet. The planet itself is twice the size of Jupiter so there’s nothing to do but enjoy life while we have it. A little less than two days is what we have to say our goodbyes, try to get in touch with those we long lost touch with, and embrace the inevitable. I embraced it as soon as I heard the news. Goodbye, cruel world. I turned off my television, lied down in bed, lit a joint, and laughed. This is how the world ends. A world full of 7 billion people who thought they were invincible will be ash and space dust in a matter of hours.

It’s better if we all die simultaneously. There will be no heartbreak. No one is going to mourn the loss of a parent, a friend, a child. We can have ourselves a going away party. I plan for us to take whatever we have out of our cabinets and freezers and cook the biggest feast we’ve ever cooked. I plan for us to drink to our heart’s content and load up on drugs we never dreamed of trying before. This is the end for us and it’s well deserved. Strap in people. It may get a little rocky, but we’re going to be fine.

I know what people think when I tell them I’m an anti-natalist. “Anti what?” Yeah, I know. It’s a big word and you don’t read. I’m not talking about those people who are incapable of understanding words that have more than two syllables. I’m talking about people who know where I stand on childbirth, on propagating the human race, on shelling out another mouth to feed. “Oh, great. This is just what the internet needs: another pessimistic nihilist who hates everyone and everything.” A few years ago, you would have been correct.

Am I saying I’ve changed my ways and I embrace everyone? No. I still think people are scum, but I like to think of myself as more of a philanthropic misanthrope these days. The world is shitty enough as it is so I like doing little things here and there for other people while I wait for the world to burn. There’s no sense in being an asshole to others when there are plenty of assholes to go around already. I’ll lend a hand to someone who has fallen on hard times. I’ll chip in a $20 to a guy on the corner who may need to grab a bite to eat. Hell, I’ll chip in $20 for someone to buy a bottle of liquor and a pack of smokes if that’s what gets them through the day. Who am I to judge?

I am not some edgy teenage nihilist. I have thoroughly considered the options as far as reproducing goes. Getting my vasectomy was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Another child will not have to come into this world full of hate and suffering because I’ve chosen to nip that in the bud. No one ever suffered by not being born. It’s all of us that are already here that are suffering. You can go your entire life, enjoying every minute of it, but at some point you’re going to experience heartbreak. Someone or something is going to hurt you. Someone is going to leave you. You know that feeling. If you don’t then you will. Why would you want to put someone else through that?

There are people out there born with mental and physical defects that are hereditary. I am one of those people. I chose not to pass my shitty genes onto another person. Why do others insist on passing on their mental and physical disabilities to the next generation? Let’s end this here and now. Voluntarily remove your progeny from the face of the earth before it ever comes into existence. You’re only going to do it more harm than good by bringing it into this world. You’re going to do yourself more harm than good if you have to watch it suffer or worse. It’s no guarantee that your child is going to outlive you. You don’t want to go through that. Do you?

Existence is a non-consensual agreement you never had a choice in accepting, with the only guarantee being that you will suffer in some capacity at some point in time.

Time, once lost, is like a debt you will never be able to pay back — a debt that just keeps growing and growing the more it is wasted.

Childhood is an extremely deceptive, seamless Ponzi scheme. It sets kids up with unrealistic expectations about the success they are destined for in adulthood. When reality sets in, however, all of being is revealed to be fraudulent. Evolution is a swindle, justice and equality do not exist/are false constructs, and all we think we know, as individuals living in a false society, rest on egocentric, anthropocentric assumptions.

This is the Greatest Scam.

I posted what was on my mind on Facebook as we’re all prone to do in this day and age. I know that we all think our opinions matter when they amount to dick if we’re being honest. I post a lot concerning my antinatalist beliefs. I don’t think I do it often enough to be obnoxious, but I post semi-regularly about people not reproducing and how beneficial it is to everyone else and the world around us. You may think it all comes from a selfish place, but it doesn’t. I won’t lie and say it’s all altruistic because it isn’t. I’d like to see less people because I flat out get annoyed with people and less of them is going to benefit me.

I also believe in antinatalism for selfless reasons. It’s the only way to end human suffering. If we stop human reproduction then there will be no more humans (obviously) therefore no more human suffering. I’m getting off track with what I originally came here to post though. I know I tend to do that a lot. I posted the following on Facebook:

“If the point of existence is to have kids then life itself is a Ponzi scheme.”

One of my friends who has possibly gotten annoyed by a lot of my anti-children/anti-reproduction posts reponded:

“Ok. We get it. You don’t want or like kids.”

I don’t like thinking it’s just about me, though. Like I said, I don’t come from a purely altruistic frame of mind because part of my decision is selfish. I also post things such as this and antinatalism memes not to annoy, but in the hope that it resonates with someone. Maybe someone is considering having a child, but they’re really not fit to have one. I can only hope that they see one of my posts and reconsider. Sadly, people are selfish and stupid and are going to have one regardless of what I say for no other reason than “Babies are cute and I want one.” I think that’s another problem we have in today’s society. People think babies are cute, but seem to forget that babies grow up and at some point they’re no longer cute. They become children, then preteens, then teenagers. Babies grow up to become assholes.

I’m going to get personal for a second, but I knew my last relationship was not going to last much longer when she told me out of the blue one day, “I think I want to have a baby eventually.” After two years of dating, seven years of knowing each other, she knew where I stood as far as children were concerned. She knew I didn’t want any. She knew I’d had a vasectomy as well. I think she just wanted a baby more than anything. She had mentioned a friend of hers had just recently had one and how cute the baby was. People get too wrapped up with the whole “baby fever” that they don’t think about down the road when the baby is no longer a baby.

So no. I don’t want nor like kids. Yes, I think you should stop having them. No, I won’t stop expressing my views because my not having kids affects no one aside from maybe annoying you on social media. Your having children affects everyone, sometimes to disastrous and tragic degrees. Hitler’s parents had him. Dahmer’s parents had him. Do you see where I’m going with this? Having a child is a coin flip. You could quite possibly give birth to the one person who brings peace on earth or you could give birth to the next person who commits a genocide worse than the Holocaust. Given humanity’s record, which one do you think is more likely?

“U.S. fertility rate at an all-time low 2019. It is now below the rate to replace the current population.”

About time we heard some good news.

I’ve never viewed my last name as anything special. It’s no more special than anyone else’s first, middle, or last name. Unless you’ve done something for the benefit of all mankind, made some discovery, helped others in a tremendous way (Albert Einstein, Nikola Tesla, Harriet Tubman, etc.) then the name on your birth certificate that you happen to have just because your parent(s) happen to have the same name does not make you an extraordinary person in this world. You will be forgotten, your “legacy” will not live on forever. It may even die with you if you keep trying and trying for that boy and end up with nothing but girls. My grandfather has three girls so as far as he goes, his last name died with him. It still lives on with his brothers who had sons, but with my mother and her two sisters, they no longer shared the same last name as my grandfather.

I try to encourage others not to reproduce. I know I am a proponent of leaving people alone and letting them do their own thing, but having children does interfere with the lives of others and I’ll discuss that in another blog. I try and try again to get the word out there that we don’t need more of us wandering this planet, spreading our genes around like seeds. We’re a virus. Bill Hicks said we’re a virus with shoes and I think that fits. Viruses have names and that’s all it appears to be when people talking about wanting someone to carry on their last name. They want them to carry on a virus.

“I want someone to carry on my family name.” Why? Why is that so important? You’re not going to live forever. If you’re lucky you’ll live to see your grandchildren. If you’re really lucky, you’ll live to see your great-grandchildren, but it’s rare that it’ll extend beyond that. You won’t be around to see where that name takes them. In all probability it will take them nowhere. It’ll just be another name among the millions of other names. Just another name in a world that doesn’t care about it or what it does in the future. No record of you ever being here, no record of your offspring ever being here. No one is going to log onto Ancestry and find any significance to tack onto your name. People are looking to see if they were related to one of the people in history that mattered such as Abraham Lincoln or Martin Luther King, Jr. Do you know who Anthony Franklin is? No. You don’t. I just made him up. I’m sure there is an Anthony Franklin out there somewhere, but he’s not going to do anything that’s going to change the world.

Instead of worrying about your name being your legacy, do something worthwhile and let that be your legacy. Do something that helps someone; do something that helps millions of someones. Discover something, invent something, benefit someone or a lot of someones. I don’t know where we got this idea that we need someone to carry on our family name. It doesn’t justify our existence.

“I want everyone to be as comfortable as they can be while they’re waiting to die. Unfortunately, the major part of Western civilization consists of capitalists, whom I regard as unadulterated savages. As long as we have to live in this world, what could be more sensible than to want yourself and others to suffer as little as possible? This will never happen because too many people are unadulterated savages. They’re brutal and inhuman.

Case in point: Why is euthanasia so despised?

Answer: Because too many people are barbaric sons of bitches.

And even in those places where euthanasia is allowed, you can’t be assisted in dying until you’re suffering to the brink of madness. At the Swiss clinic known as Dignitas, where you can be humanely euthanized, or in Oregon, where euthanasia is still legal, though perhaps not for long, you have to jump through a host of hoops to prove you’re mentally lucid. Who the hell is mentally lucid when they’re in such pain that they can hardly think? What a boon to humankind it would be if we offer everyone euthanasia before they are reduced to zombies of misery, so that they could say good-bye to their friends and families with a smile on their face and a clear mind. And what about people who are in mental pain from which they are not likely to recover? Have some fucking mercy. There is nothing in this world as important as to be able to choose to die in a painless and dignified manner, something we do have the ability to bestow on one another.

If euthanasia were decriminalized, it would demonstrate that we had made the greatest evolutionary leap in world history. If we could only arrange society so that we didn’t have to fear every one of us, the throes of agony that routinely precede death, I would be proud to call myself a human being.”